11/25/10

"I gave you my heart. I gave you everything I had. I waited for you. I wanted to be all that I could be for you. I wanted to give you the best. I wanted to make your dreams come true. I wanted to believe in you. I wanted to stand by you and support you. I wanted to admire and honor you. I wanted to give in to you. I wanted to trust you. I wanted to be able to turn to you. I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to feel safe and secure with you. I wanted to feel the wave of passion and climbs the mountains of life with you. I wanted so, so much. I tried so hard over and over. And then I realized that it wouldn't stop and it would never change. The change had to come or it would never work. I couldn't live in that cycle of betrayal and pain, over and over again. I finally had to say, 'No. No more.' There is an illness and I can't change it. Only you can. But, you don't want to accept it and deal with it; you don't even want to see it. Maybe because you don't know anything else. Maybe because it's too hard to accept. I don't know because I'm not you. I only know what has happened and been said to me. I am in so much pain. My heart hurts a lot. I feel sad and I have cried. Letting you go was one of the hardest things that I ever had to do. I didn't want to have to do it. But, I did have to. So I did. You said nothing to challenge it. Nothing to say you would change. So I accepted it too. I feel like wisdom told me to. I hope and pray to God it really was the right decision. I give it in to God's hands. You will always hold a special place in my heart. I always loved you and I always will. Maybe we will see each other in Heaven someday and we will be friends because we will be perfect and we can't hurt each other anymore."

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