Random thoughts with no care to edit nor revise. Just thoughts from my head put down on my blog. (090209)

I have noticed that it's usually people living in sin that accuse you of being judgmental. Because you don't want to live in sin and you tell them what the Bible says, suddenly they become defensive and say "don't judge me!" or "hypocrite!" People have been calling me that since day one of my Christian walk. Why? Because they don't like that I'm a changed person. They don't like that I'm not "politically correct." It really doesn't matter how loving and respectful I am because they'll always find a way to put me down. It does matter to me to be loving though because that is who I am. It hurts me that some people fail to see how loving I really am. The fact that I can easily forgive people of some of the most atrocious crimes. The fact that I pray for the salvation and blessings upon convicted murderers and rapists in prisons. The fact that I actually care about them and my heart pours out. Either I'm crazy or I'm just very close to God's graceful Spirit. I look at humanity as being naked and cold without God. I look at them as being little children who's innocence is lost and they are trapped just begging to get out but don't know how. It hurts me. When I'm around Christians I feel like I can talk to them about the Bible and I mean really talk about it because they "get" me. They "get" me because they know and understand because they're in the same boat as me. When I talk with non-Christians, I don't use all the same language because they wouldn't understand me. I try to "be real" with them and just be a loving, comforting and encouraging voice for them. If I want someone to realize their need for salvation then I believe it will come from the conviction of the Holy Spirit. So that is my prayer. I am simply a messenger. If someone has a sin they're living in as a non-Christian I do not tell them that they are sinning because they won't care nor fully understand why even. Instead I give them a voice of love. This I think makes them feel more comfortable and able to trust me more. Then from seeing my life as a strong believer always spreading the Gospel they will realize. I did this with a neighbor once. I never told her she sinned because of various things I heard her say and do. Instead I was just always nice and smiling to her. I invited her to church. She never came, but I noticed a change attitude in her. The more I was around her, the more happy she looked. She told, I don't know what it is but it just seems like Christians are more happy. Well, we are more happy in a way because who would not be happy knowing that they don't have to go to hell anymore and that God is always protecting them. But, at the same time, we have huge struggles. I don't want to go into all the struggles I've been through in my life or as a Christian, but it's been a whole lot. My point is that I am always trying to be a good influence on others so that they can see Jesus in me, yet at the same time I want to be trueful. I'm not going to lie and say that something is okay if it's not. I will tell the truth. I try to use wisdom and discernment in situations that I don't really know how to react in. Basically, I realize that no one is ever going to be completely happy with me but even though I do things sometimes that are not right it's usually not because of me that someone isn't happy with me, but because of themselves. I judge if an action is right or wrong based on God's Word. That is being true. Apart from that I just love. So I believe in love and truth. Those two qualities matter more to me than anything else in the world.