Some parents are so controlling of their adult offspring that they nearly strangle their kids by keeping them tied to the proverbial apron strings. This actually only hurts their child's life and development, and can often make them miserable - even though that is normally not the intention of the parent. Other parents are so neglectful of their child while growing up that they are left with next to no relationship with their adult offspring later in life, and that has a whole set of problems on its own. The best solution lies somewhere in the middle: having a loving, understanding and mature presence in the adult child's life, yet knowing when to lay off and let them make their own decisions and live out their own lives as they choose, and all the while trying to not give them a headache because of it.
By the way, there is a Biblical word for someone who is all-controlling and manipulative - it's called a "witch." Ouch. And, I know what it's like to feel like you need to control someone's life because they are so messed up in their lives and if you don't then they'll never get their act together. It is true that sometimes you need to step in for someone, but most of the time you need to just give them your advice and let them make their own decisions. But, you always need to respect their person. Also, prayer is the key. So, be careful with your relationships and don't play the witch nor the deadbeat.
http://www.essortment.com/family/parentadultchi_szmm.htm
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