MARRIAGE is as ESSENTIAL to the preservation of a healthy society as BREAD is the essential “staff of life”. NEITHER is an “INSTANT” production. No one lives unto himself or herself. If personal happiness and fulfillment in life are to be enjoyed, there must be submission to the kneading and heat (trials: finances, in-laws, etc.) proving patience and faith – giving of oneself without reservation.
Each step is essential in the making of a marriage – that “two might become one”, and the children partake of the life-sustaining goodness of a “happy marriage”, instead of having life-long scars from a broken home. If a breach has been made, then start mending where you can. You cannot change the heart of another; only God can. Thus, stop all blame of others, excusing of self and self-pity; be sure your heart, attitudes and actions are pleasing to God.
Gen. 1:27 God created MAN in His own image, in the image of God created He him: MALE and FEMALE created He them.
Gen. 2:18 And the Lord said. It is not good that the man should be alone: I will make him an HELP MEET for him.
Gen. 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall CLEAVE unto his wife and they shall be one flesh.
It is man’s part to cleave unto (stick to, be united to, remain faithful to) his wife. God planned that they should love, compliment and help Him as well as each other – a triangle, as it were, between heaven and earth. The closer their fellowship to Him, the closer the relationship to each other.
God made Eve from a rib out of Adam’s side to walk beside him as a helper, and He gave “them dominion over all the works of His hands”. It was only a part of the curse, after the eating of the forbidden fruit, that Eve was to subject to Adam.
1 Cor. 11:9-12 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man (the woman is the glory of man). Nevertheless, neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord. For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman: but all things of God.
Through the ages, God has used both men and women in special ways. He has used women as prophetesses: even as a judge over all Israel. He used a woman to save the Jews from extinction. He brought forth the Savior of the world through a woman, and the first person to see the risen Lord was a woman.
As all organizations have to have a head, a presiding officer, so God has appointed the man to be the head of the house.
A wise ruler realizes he is not an authority on every subject and thus delegates responsibilities to knowledgeable people under him who do not run to him for every decision, but use their education, experience and common sense to accomplish the job for the best of the organization and for his approval.
Eph. 5:23-33,21 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church; and the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it… That He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones…Let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband Submitting yourselves ONE ANOTHER in the FEAR OF THE LORD.
1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and being HEIRS TOGETHER of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Who can say which is more important – the positive or negative in electricity? Nothing electrical works without both in equal amount. Which is more important, water or air? The man dying in a desert would say water; the drowning person would say air; yet it takes both to sustain life. God has formed both sexes with strong points as well as weak so that each will have a need for a dependency on the other.
1 Cor. 7:3,4 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence; and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
The man is neither superior or always right, nor a dictator, making all the decisions. (Who is more obnoxious that ANYONE who “runs everything” or is “always right?)
Even to Abraham, God said:
Gen 21:12 In all that Sarah hath said unto thee, harken unto her voice.
Marriage usually unites two individuals who consider each other intelligent and attractive. Taking the vows should not change “lovers” into “competitors”, for love is like a crown, that when worn by even a poor man, makes him feel like a king on a throne. The fair lady won should be a queen to reign WITH HIM over his household.
Mat. 18:19 I say unto you that if two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven….How should one chase a thousand and two put ten thousand to flight. (Deut. 32:30)
Satan fears this strong unity and power of a loving, cooperative, Christian marriage, and he fights it from all sides. Both husband and wife should realize they are a TEAM: each encouraging and helping the other, both maintaining team loyalty and standing united against the wiles of the devil who is now breaking up more than one out of every three marriages.
Heb. 3:13 Exhort one another daily, while it is called today; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.
Most marriage difficulties stem from disobedience to the command.
II Cor. 6:14 BE NOT UNEQUALLY YOKED together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?
The great number of divorces granted on the grounds of “incompatibility” attest to the folly of selecting a mate without seeking God’s choice for the individual. He alone knows everyone’s inherited traits, talents, temperament, etc., and the combinations that would work together the most successfully for each individuals’s happiness and the furtherance of His kingdom on this earth and for eternity.
Ps. 127:1 Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it.
1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.
Submission does not mean to be a slave to, or an employee of, but to submit to the divine order in love, and only when that love is returned as Christ loves his church. Thus, a man who loves his wife in this manner would never ever think of placing her in a position that would compromise any of God’s laws, but put her in freedom as set forth in Proverbs 31:10-31: Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night…She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it. Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her…Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Each person has the opportunity to choose a partner; thus each should be happy. Constant encouragement and belief in the man help him battle the business world. Constant tenderness and praise for the wife keeps the never-ending housework from becoming drudgery.
Pro. 5:18-22 Rejoice with the wife of thy youth…and be thou ravished always with her love… Why wilt thou be ravished with a strange woman?…For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings. His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be holden with the cords of his sins.
Pro. 16:7 When a man’s (woman’s) ways please the Lord, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him.
Ps. 37:4, 5 Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in Him and he shall bring it to pass (Read all of Psa. 37).
Rom. 12: 12, 14, 17, 18, 21 Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; bless them which persecute you; bless, and curse not. Recompence to no man evil for evil…If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men…Avenge not yourselves, for vengeance is mine; I will repay saith the Lord…Be not overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good.
Prov. 10:12 Hatred stirreth up strife; but love covereth all sins…Charity (love) suffereth long, and is kind;…(Read 1 Cor. 13:1-7)
DIVORCE, although extremely serious, is not the unpardonable sin. Like all others committed while one was “dead in trespasses and sin”, it leaves deep scars, but it can be forgiven when sincerely repented of and forgiveness sought and accepted. It is NOT the end of living. GOD HAS NOT DIED, nor has HE LOST HIS POWER. He specialized in making a way where there was no way, bringing victory out of defeat.
ISA. 61:3 To give beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that HE MIGHT BE GLORIFIED.
God has the answer to every problem. The FIRST requisite is for the individual to be committed to Him. The SECOND is to commit the problem to Him, leave it with Him, praising and thanking Him for the solution, and then “waiting patiently” for Him. God is never in a hurry (He has to wait on the breaking down of human resistance), but when he moves, it is for the good of His Child and for His glory. (Abraham waited years for the fulfillment to God’s promise, and God “counted his believing for righteousness”).
AFTER a person has laid the foundation of accepting Jesus, (1 Cor. 3:11) “let every man take heed how he buildeth there on.”
DIVORCE is NOT ONE of the BUILDING BLOCKS, and God’s word has very DEFINITE instructions concerning it. Mat. 19:6-9; Mark 10:11, 12; 1 Cor. 7:10-17, 39.
THIS LIFE is short at its longest, and God’s grace is sufficient to endure all things. The companionship and approval of Christ in this life and the next are worth any sacrifice or denying of one’s self NOW.
Phil. 4:13 I can do ALL THINGS THROUGH Christ which strengtheneth me.
Col. 2:9, 10 For in Him dwelleth all the fullness of the Godhead bodily. And ye are complete in Him, which is the head of all principality and power.
LOVE is like a delicate PLANT that must be cultivated and sheltered to keep it blooming.
LOVE is like a precious GEM that must be guarded that it not be stolen or lost.
LOVE is like a FIRE that must be constantly fed that it does not die.
A COVENANT is an agreement between two or more parties, either verbal or in writing; usually a token is given or exchanged.
The FIRST COVENANT between GOD and MAN was in the Garden of Eden. The shedding of BLOOD (the death) of an animal would be accepted by God as a substitute covering for sin.
With Abraham and his descendants God made a covenant to give them the land of Canaan (present-day Israel) as an everlasting possession, and He would be their God. The token was circumcision, BLOOD shed on man’s part (Ge. 17:7 , 8, 11).
When Moses led the Children of Israel (Abraham’s descendants) out of Egypt to the Promised Land, God made a convenant, again, with blood of an animal and the giving of the law, His Ten Commandments, as the tokens. This covenant they broke (Heb. 8:9). Fifteen hundred years later God made a NEW COVENANT of an eternal inheritance not only with Jews, but with all mankind, and the token was the BLOOD OF HIS OWN SON (Heb: 9:14, 15).
Amazingly, the VERY FIRST COVENANT God established was between man and woman, that of MARRIAGE, which was also sealed by the shedding of BLOOD on the wedding night. This was a lifelong commitment of FIDELITY by BOTH PARTIES. Since the Garden of Eden, Satan has tempted men and women to break God’s covenants.
The JEWS broke His commandments and for 2700 years became wanderers suffering as no other people. In these end days, Satan is waging a full-scale war. Because of suggestive television, pornography, child molestation, incest, homosexuality, etc., virginity of both parties is a rarity so that a TRUE MARRIAGE COVENANT can be established. He has made “illicit sex”, “affairs” and “divorce” so common place that FEW marriages can survive his onslaught. God is a God of love, but also of WRATH, and He is now letting the world reap the CONSEQUENCES of breaking this FIRST of all blood covenants: divorce, abortion (murder), violence, venereal diseases, and AIDS, against which MAN is HELPLESS, and that not only THREATENS everyone’s lifestyle, but our very EXISTENCE!
Children and young people should be taught the fear of the Lord, and as soon as possible to enter into the blood covenant of salvation and to keep themselves PURE to enter into the SACRED MARRIAGE COVENANT at the PROPER TIME and receive GOD’S blessing and protection. YOUNG PEOPLE, don’t let Satan TRAP YOU. Learn to say “NO”.
Two people being in agreement with each other is powerful. There is power in unity. Whatever two agree on will come to pass (Matthew 18:19). The following confession of faith is based on the Word of God. Pray this prayer daily, and expect to receive whatsoever you agree upon. Love never fails!
Prayer For a Marriage of Love, Harmony and Tranquility
Father, in the name of Jesus, we pray that we may stand firm in united spirit and purpose, to live in agreement, harmony and peace. We confess that our marriage grows stronger each day in the bond of unity because it is founded on Your Word and rooted and grounded in love. We pray that we will esteem each other more highly than we do ourselves, respecting, reverencing, honoring and preferring each other above all others.
Father, give us the power of patient endurance and steadfastness to conduct ourselves honorably, not in quarreling or jealousy. May our love endure long and be patient and kind…that our love would never be envious, nor displayed haughtily. Our love will not be conceited, arrogant, rude or unmannerly. God’s love in us does not insist on its own way or own rights, for we are not self seeking; we are not fretful or resentful; we take no account or pay no attention to a suffered wrong. Help us to rejoice when right and truth prevail.
Our love shall bear up under anything and everything that comes and is ever ready to believe the best of every person. Our hope is unshakeable under all circumstances and will endure everything without weakening. We believe that Love is enfolding and knitting us together in truth, making us perfect for every good work to do Your will, working in us that which is well pleasing in Your sight.
Thank you, Father, for giving us one heart and one way that we may fear You forever, for our good, and for the good of our children after us. Amen